Hawai'i. What words can I say to describe this place of beauty? This
land that was born from Earth’s eruptions from the depths and molded from fiery
rivers pouring into the endless waves? The spiritual atmosphere of peace and
tranquility transfused with respect and honor is something only experienced by
those who freely embrace it openly and humbly. How amazing that I am blessed to
be in Hawai’i – and even though it is only for a short while, it is longer than
most will ever experience. Within these last two weeks alone I have learned
more about myself, pushed my abilities to a different limit, and have humbly gained
more of my own respect.
Don’t be deceived by that last paragraph to think that I
have been lazily self-reflecting and sunbathing on the sandy beaches in
paradise. Quite the contrary. I have only been to the beach 2 times during the
day since my arrival almost 3 weeks ago. The festival’s hours are long and
tiresome (though occasionally self-inflicted). And during this, last Friday was
a breaking point for me.
It had been one of the many 12+ hour days preparing,
assisting, maintaining, and monitoring different aspects of the festival. I
know this of myself: that in a busy state, I forget to allow peace, patience, and
understanding to rule my interactions with those around me and I quickly hit my
“point of no return” emotionally. Instead of being able to turn an interaction
that was potentially a life-changing learning experience into a positive
result, I just shut it down. I let a moment escape. I was done. My guard then fell
and I began to complain.
After that incident occurred, the performance that evening
had ended, and a hope was dashed, I will admit that I did shed a tear. This
emotional dead-end was too much. It took me a full day, but I realized something
that has been a consistent truth in my education of life here. These long hours
and tough work do not need to be so negative of an experience. I love doing
operations and logistics for performing arts organizations. That is why I am
here! When I get emails of more tasks to organize or fires to extinguish, I
should be excited about this opportunity to succeed instead of complain of more
work to do. Yes, some days have pushed my mental capacity to a point that
almost hurts, but it isn’t work if it is something you love. This is what I
love so why should I equate it with pain? This is merely a choice.
Perhaps it seems to be a small thing to change your attitude
about something. But this small change results in a massive difference in joy.
Though there were still organizational difficulties I see it with joy – knowing
that once an issue is resolved, the lives within the festival can be more
joyful as well. What a better job than to make this possible?
When you make the conscious decision to react to situations
with a smile, you experience a sense of happiness previously unknown in an
otherwise miserable occurrence.
And yeah ok, it doesn’t suck being in Hawai’i at the same
time.
I add this to the list of what I am proud of in my growth. I
am reading a nonfiction book in which the author is trying to describe the
difficulties of writing about one’s life. The hardest part is acknowledging and
owning the story that you have chosen. Am I, as the protagonist, the hero?
Would a reader cheer for me when reading my life’s story? I look back to who I
was even merely a year ago and shake my head at some of my insecurities, my
doubts, and unhappiness. That, however, was just the continuation of the plot,
the progression of the storyline, and the end of an old chapter.
In all aspects of life, this lesson of choice is constant.
What kind of character do you choose to be in your life’s story?
Aloha and Shalom,
~Elizabeth
